9.04.2009

Finding the Words!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

We were sitting having dinner when all of a sudden my 9 year-old says, "Mom, why did cancer even start?"

My reasoning mind wants to explain that there is this gene in our family that has been passed down, and that this gene led me to have cancer. But, that's scary for a child - I know he will begin to wonder, "do I have this gene?" He doesn't need to worry about this now. I could make something up, but I'm too tired to think of anything good right now.

We live in a "need to know culture". We are so smart these days and have so many resources that we know just about everything about everything. We are big fans of the show MythBusters and even we love to know for sure whether something is real or not. But, there are still some things that we will never fully understand, and I think that's OK. Not that trying to understand something isn't important.

Sometimes I think it's the journey toward understanding, that can bring us the greatest joy in that little thing called faith. I am thankful that the efforts made in the treatment of cancer have advanced so far that I have the best chance possible right now to beat this thing. But, I can't explain to my 9 year-old why I have it. But, maybe that's OK.

I could drive myself crazy with the question "why?" Or, I can bring myself closer to God with the response, "OK! Where do we go from here?" Whenever I can't fully explain something, I think about God - do I think that's a coincidence? Not really? I think that as much as we may know right now, it's that which we don't understand that reminds us of our need to have faith. A full understanding might not be seen right now, but I can trust that God is somewhere in the thick of it.

Someone recently made the comment that no two blades of grass are the same - I didn't know that. I had never given it any thought - I wonder if the Mythbusters could do a show on that? But, wow! Think about that for a minute (or a lifetime). Why would this be? I don't know and probably will never know, but it's pretty amazing. There must be a reason somewhere in God's grand design. I don't get it right now, but it leaves me in awe of His purpose for every part of Creation.

You would think, with as busy as God was while creating the Universe, it would have been easier to make all the grass the same, but he didn't. I can't explain why, but when I think about it, it makes me smile because it's just so awesome.

So, I'm sitting across the table from my 9 year-old son, and wondering what's the best way to answer his question, and I say, "Honey, I just don't know. But, thank God we have our faith to lead us through it." He nodded and went back to eating his dinner. I guess that was enough for him, for now.

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...