10.05.2009
Reclaiming our Well Experiences!
By nature I am a conversationalist; I love to "visit" with people. My mom used to say that she loved taking car trips with me, because I would talk the whole way and it made the trip go by that much quicker. But, even with a love for conversing, I have to always stop and ask myself if I'm really listening to the people around me.
I think the pace of our lives adds to the difficulty we face in really listening to those around us. I don't mean just hearing the words coming out of another's mouth, although that's an important part of it. But, rather, I mean really listening to what the spirit of another is saying to us.
When we are left to e-mail short messages or make quick calls on our cell phones, we recognize that our lives are often pulling us along and it can be difficult to really enter into the meaning that is shared around us. I got laughing the other day when a friend talked about eating pizza in the car while the kids changed into practice clothes for a soccer game. I laughed because we've all been there in some way or another. So what can we do? I like to start by asking myself an important question:
How well am I "tapped into" those around me? What can I better understand about their words, when I consider the layers underneath those words? When someone in my life is speaking to me, am I really present to them or am I looking at them while my mind rests someplace else? There is such opportunity to grow spiritually when we open ourselves up to those around us.
I like to call them "Well Experiences!" Historically women would gather at the well, and it was here where they would learn about the needs, experiences, joys and sorrows of the families around them. It's hard for us to grasp these "well experiences" in our busy lives. But, it's not impossible.
Let's try a little experiment: spend one day putting aside what we feel we "have to do" and remain open to the people we come across on the street, in the store, at school or at home. Now, of course there are things we need to do; our kids need to be fed, dressed and taken to activities; we need to get to work and think about dinner. But, even with all the necessary responsibility, there is still time to "go with the flow" a little bit. Listen to the people who are speaking around you, and consider how those moments can enrich your life.
The majority of time, it has nothing to do with the actual words that are used, but rather the honesty with which our words are delivered.
Since my illness, many people have commented that it's hard to know what to say. I agree, it is hard to know what to say to these challenges. Sometimes moments or experiences seem to transcend words that we are usually comfortable using; but, it matters less "what is said" and more that an emotion is shared. So, just in saying, "I don't know what to say," the most important words are spoken - because they are honest.
Probably one of the greatest gifts of this cancer is the opportunity to stop and really hear the words of the people around me. It's a fascinating moment when a "talker" begins to really listen. What I hear on a daily basis fills me with the kind of inspiration and joy that can even lift one out of a very dark moment in time.
Although my walk with cancer has gifted me with a growth in this awareness, one does not have to have cancer to begin the process of embracing the "well experiences" of his or her day. One only has to make a choice to stop, listen and respond in hope and honesty to those whose paths cross their own.
What will your next "well experience" be like? Will you recognize it?
Until next time, we take a sacred pause...
