Falling Into My Life!

(image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

I remember listening to a talk by Father Richard Rohr in which he made the statement, "Don't push the river!" That statement has resonated with me on so many occasions, but probably none more that right now.

The premise of this idea (don't push the river) is that our lives have a current all their own. I don't have the ability to change all that happens in my life, but I do have the ability to choose how I respond to that which occurs in my life. When I spend my energy trying to change that which cannot be changed, I am pushing the river. This doesn't mean that I have to sit back and do nothing in the face of challenge, but instead I have to put my energy in my response to the events and people around me.

This weekend, as I await news on more tests, I can say that I want nothing more than to "push the river." I would love to know that this cancer will be gone after the radiation next year. I would love to be assured that I will be cancer-free 10 years from now. I can't know that these statements are true, but I can live as though they are. Living as though they are true statements changes everything about how I approach my day.

In so many ways, this is about falling into my life! The reality of where I am, is where I am. Once I accept that reality, I can then look to how I am responding to the truth of my life. This can allow me to make changes within my control and affect how I choose to respond to that which is out of my control.

Some may say that amidst our challenges is not the time to fall into our lives; but, I think that the toughest of times is exactly the time to fall into our lives. When I begin to accept that where I am is where I am, I can begin the process of not letting the challenge itself define me. Instead, I can let how I respond to that challenge begin to shine light on who I am.

It's certainly easier to be at the center of God in my life, when I'm healthy and free of challenge, but I don't think it's quite as telling as trying to reside at the center with God in the midst of this challenge. So, I and all those struggling with challenge in their lives (and who among us is not challenged in some way?) can look at these moments as opportunities to fall into our lives. We can look at these moments as opportunities to challenge ourselves to look more deeply into what or who governs our choices!

I am so thankful for my faith. I'm not the best example of one who walks with God; I have my moments of walking in worry and fear; but, I see the opportunity to choose how I respond to the events around me, and in that I feel a great grace!

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...

Living with Purpose!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}


Yesterday I sat down with my girls and watched Disney's The Rescuers. It's a sweet movie about two tiny unassuming mice, who are commissioned to go forth and rescue a little girl in trouble. I particularly appreciated the little mouse from Hungary who always donned a matching hat and wrap! Even in the swaps of the bayou, she was looking stylish!

At the moment in the film, when the mice finally reach the little girl and tell her they are there to rescue her, my 6 year-old, Anna, said, "oh my goodness, I'm crying!" And there, on her tiny little face were a stream of tears. The funny thing was...I was crying too! We both started laughing and I said, "Oh, Anna...God gave us the gift of compassion and it just oozes out everywhere!"

I can't help the fact that I cry at every episode of America's Home Makeover or that darn Folger's coffee commercial they play every December - the one where the eldest son returns home on Christmas Eve, just in time to surprise his family! My inability to control the tears in these moments, drives me crazy and yet, I recognize that God gave me all my personality traits (the normal and the quirky), gifts and talents for a reason.

But, instead of looking at ourselves as gift, we more often look at ourselves and shake our heads. There are things about myself that drive me crazy, but I see that in many ways those things have helped serve me in the most peculiar ways. So, I don't want to overlook even the most mundane parts of myself. Everything is for purpose!

I remember talking to someone once about her child's desire to always be right. She was concerned that her daughter would go through life alienating people with her need to prove that she was always right. I too have a child that likes to be right about everything, so I understood her concern. But, I also said "What if that part of their personality was given to them for a reason and we squashed it? What if we headed them in the right direction and fostered this part of their personality in a healthy way?" Perhaps these two children will grow up to stand up for the less fortunate, for an injustice or for those who don't have a voice, because they know that it is "right!" It's all in what you do with it, that makes the difference!

I think we need to sometimes see the possibility in even that which drives us nuts about ourselves. Part of the gift of these journeys we are on, is the ability to continue to grow! We have to foster and direct ourselves in a healthy way, to a clearer understanding of the gift that we are in this life! Then we can begin to see how we are designed to serve in this life!

Don't sell yourself short too soon! God placed you in this life for purpose and you have the gifts and talents (and, yes, personality traits) to live in fullness of that purpose everyday! Go to it!

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...

Reclaiming our Well Experiences!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

By nature I am a conversationalist; I love to "visit" with people. My mom used to say that she loved taking car trips with me, because I would talk the whole way and it made the trip go by that much quicker. But, even with a love for conversing, I have to always stop and ask myself if I'm really listening to the people around me.

I think the pace of our lives adds to the difficulty we face in really listening to those around us. I don't mean just hearing the words coming out of another's mouth, although that's an important part of it. But, rather, I mean really listening to what the spirit of another is saying to us.

When we are left to e-mail short messages or make quick calls on our cell phones, we recognize that our lives are often pulling us along and it can be difficult to really enter into the meaning that is shared around us. I got laughing the other day when a friend talked about eating pizza in the car while the kids changed into practice clothes for a soccer game. I laughed because we've all been there in some way or another. So what can we do? I like to start by asking myself an important question:

How well am I "tapped into" those around me? What can I better understand about their words, when I consider the layers underneath those words? When someone in my life is speaking to me, am I really present to them or am I looking at them while my mind rests someplace else? There is such opportunity to grow spiritually when we open ourselves up to those around us.

I like to call them "Well Experiences!" Historically women would gather at the well, and it was here where they would learn about the needs, experiences, joys and sorrows of the families around them. It's hard for us to grasp these "well experiences" in our busy lives. But, it's not impossible.

Let's try a little experiment: spend one day putting aside what we feel we "have to do" and remain open to the people we come across on the street, in the store, at school or at home. Now, of course there are things we need to do; our kids need to be fed, dressed and taken to activities; we need to get to work and think about dinner. But, even with all the necessary responsibility, there is still time to "go with the flow" a little bit. Listen to the people who are speaking around you, and consider how those moments can enrich your life.


The majority of time, it has nothing to do with the actual words that are used, but rather the honesty with which our words are delivered.

Since my illness, many people have commented that it's hard to know what to say. I agree, it is hard to know what to say to these challenges. Sometimes moments or experiences seem to transcend words that we are usually comfortable using; but, it matters less "what is said" and more that an emotion is shared. So, just in saying, "I don't know what to say," the most important words are spoken - because they are honest.

Probably one of the greatest gifts of this cancer is the opportunity to stop and really hear the words of the people around me. It's a fascinating moment when a "talker" begins to really listen. What I hear on a daily basis fills me with the kind of inspiration and joy that can even lift one out of a very dark moment in time.


Although my walk with cancer has gifted me with a growth in this awareness, one does not have to have cancer to begin the process of embracing the "well experiences" of his or her day. One only has to make a choice to stop, listen and respond in hope and honesty to those whose paths cross their own.


What will your next "well experience" be like? Will you recognize it?



Until next time, we take a sacred pause...