A New Path!

I wasn't expecting to begin writing again in the midst of my walk with cancer. But, I don't think we can ever truly know when God will see fit to inspire us to weave together our words. Apparently, this is my time to begin to do that...

I took a break from this blog because, as many of you know, on May 15th I was diagnosed with stage III breast cancer. My dear friend Shelly left a post below that gives a link to the caring bridge page that my husband is maintaining. I know that will continue to be the avenue through which people can stay up-to-date on my physical journey.

My hope is that this may be a place for people to stay up-to-date on my spiritual journey. This process may be more for me than anyone else, but I have always believed that when I feel inspired to write...it is... in many ways, God's way of teaching me something...and...when we hold inspiration, it should always be shared.

I know that this journey I am on is frightening, frustrating and unsettling. So, it might seem funny to say I feel abundantly blessed. But, I do! We have been surrounded by a kindness that transcends any previous understanding of the word.

I think in our "ordinary" days, we see glimpses of the sacred gifts in our lives.

But, we have truly been enveloped in sacred gifts from the moment we heard. I have been "held" in so many ways by sacred words and gestures. At times I truly feel carried along by the stream of prayers and support that seem to extend me beyond this moment in time. I've had my moments, not so much of anger (I'm not so prone to that emotion), but rather to worry and tears (I've mastered these!).

As I began chemotherapy, I knew that the two concerns would be the side effects of the drugs (the possibility of dehydration and fever.) I've had them both, and as I have sat in desert moments physically and emotionally these past few weeks, I still have felt the grace of God. But, the only reason I have felt that is because of the presence of people around me, and their willingness to walk with me in this time.

I think this is the greatest lesson of all experiences: When we open ourselves up to those around us and share our stories, the sacred flourishes!

The community that I live in is amazing. But, I believe that every community has the possibility of being as amazing as mine. The key is sharing in the journeys of those around you. When we sit idle, we run the risk of stalling the sacred.

Of course when someone has a serious illness there is a natural impulse to want to do something. But, in every experience of our lives, we can be called to do something, to share something, to want to be a "part of something", rather than separate from it. What is it in your life that is calling you to be a part of it?

Sometimes we think it has to be a grand gesture, but it doesn't...the simplest action can often breed the most profound emotions.

Be a part of your day today!

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...

a blog break...

Susan will be taking what we all hope is a very short blog break while she tends to her health, herself and her family. Please keep her in your prayers & thoughts. In the meantime... please visit Susan's care page for updates on her health and recovery...

and be sure to leave her a note of well wishes!

Transformative Breath!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

I remember once reading about an astronaut’s view of Earth from Space...

As he viewed the Earth from his unique vantage point, the astronaut was able to cover the earth with his thumb. In that moment his perspective was changed. This big, glorious planet was covered by his thumb. His view went from “me” to “the universe.” As he took breath, he realized that every breath was purposeful for not just himself, but everyone around him. Sometimes we need a shift in our perspective in order to recognize that our lives are less about the individual and more about the community as a whole.

Everything that I do and say has a consequence for the whole of my community. It is for this reason that I need to think of myself as someone in a constant state of transformation. I have to trust that my breath can be transformative, if I allow it to be.

St. Paul’s breath was transformative breath. He took his experience and allowed it to change the course of life around him; we are still feeling the affects of that choice today.

We so often only grasp a glimpse of a new experience. We may feel that the experience is amazing and it makes us feel renewed or affirmed. But, does it change us in any way? We breathe not to remain the same, but to transform ourselves into who we are in the name of God. If I learn something about myself through moments with a spiritual director or soul friend, does my life change at all because of it? Or, do I fall into the trap of comfortable mediocrity?

What would our experiences in faith be like today if Paul had not allowed his breath to transform his life? If he had said, “I realize the error in my ways and I will spend the rest of days in solitude weeping for the mistakes I have made,” where would those who benefited from Paul’s transformative breath have gone? This is what happens when we think that nothing can change, or that we don’t have purpose in this life.

When we invite breath in and release it with a willingness to change what that breath will do for us in the next moment, that breath becomes nourishment for others. That breath reflects God’s will which is always infectious! Paul was spiritually required to do something with his new breath, and we must do something with our new breath!

As we continue on with our faith journeys, let us hope that each life-giving experience leaves a mark of inspiration that can motivate us forward and be shared with all those who cross our paths.

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...

What are you Preparing for?

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

I need to apologize for not updating this blog as quickly as I would have liked to. This has been a challenging 6 weeks. But, with all challenges comes a sense of determination and persepective. I'm pleased to share my insights with you in this post.....

Finding our place in this life can make us feel as though we are training for the Olympics: we need to focus all our attention on our training, hire a couple of coaches, watch review tapes of our performance, check out our competition and continually ask ourselves, “is this worth it?”

When we work to live as, what Thomas Merton would call our “true self”, it does require a certain amount of attention and dedication; but, ultimately our efforts are less work than trying to live as someone we are not. Living authentically is not about living perfectly, but it is about living with purpose and in direct line with our deepest beliefs and joys.

So, to begin: what are your deepest beliefs and joys? When you define your beliefs, are they reflected in your daily living? If so, how will you maintain that path? If there is a conflict between what you believe and your daily words and actions, what is the first step to aligning these two things?

One of the stories from scripture that I sit with the most is the story of Moses. We know the general story of a baby in a basket, being rescued by a princess and ultimately being led back to his people, whom he was destined to lead out of slavery. But, at the heart of this sacred story is a message about living an authentic life.

For quite some time Moses was separated from his “true path”; it didn’t mean that he was miserable in his life. In fact, he had a pretty comfortable existence in that palace. But what we sense from his story is an underlining need to head down a path that, at his very core, felt like the place God wanted him to be.

Moses is called out of the place he is and is invited back to his true self; the person God created him to be. Now, you would think that an invitation from God like this would summon up great courage in Moses; instead, Moses gave five hearty excuses for staying where he was. However, the call of God was so strong in him that he could not help but follow the path that was placed before him.

What is interesting, I think, about this path that God has designed for us, is that it is ever-changing. When I was teaching high school students how to write and understand literature better, I felt very much in the place God had prepared for me. However, after I had my first child, I felt that a very different direction had revealed itself to me. I don’t think that these were, in fact, two different paths; I think they were steps leading me to another place. Our challenge is being open to the possibilities God places around us!

For Moses, his time within the walls of the Pharaoh’s palace are not unlike my time in teaching, or your time now: these are steps along our journeys of faith. They have purpose, and they are significant in the “waiting” we do along our journeys of faith. Interestingly enough, I don’t think that waiting is a passive experience. I think that as we wait along our paths of faith, we are actively embracing those moments.

As we do this, we are being prepared for the moments when we open up to the possibilities around us and, only then, can we be ready to enter into the fullness of our authentic life. It takes a lot of trust to “wait” in our faith journeys. But, in many ways we are like Moses whose time with the Pharaoh was a time of waiting… of preparing.

What are you preparing for? How do you wait?

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...

Sacred Gifts!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

When we begin to think about our purpose in God’s world, we are often overwhelmed!

• “Am I living out God’s will in my life?”

• “What if I miss a sign from God?”

• “Am I too late?” The questions, oh the questions!

I often think that when I struggle with something, on the other side of that struggle is God saying, “Hang on, Susan….there’s a lesson and purpose in the midst of this, and growth on the other side of this moment.” But, believing that God is saying this to me and living out of this belief are two completely different things.

The sacred purpose of our lives is never simple. What I think we would like is for God to install a PA (public address) System in the Universe; something that would sound off at just the right moment to tell us that, “Yes! This is the next step you should take.”

But, God is rarely found in the obvious, and I think there is a reason for this. For it is in the subtle movements of life, that we often find the greatest of God’s inspiration.

The subtle experiences of our life often are the things we pass over (or fight against), but that hold such significance for us on our journeys of faith. At the heart of these subtleties are our own Sacred Gifts. How often do we ignore our ability to comfort a friend, or listen without judgment? Do you find internal joy when you draw, paint, sing, garden, or dance? Do you feel giddy when you organize a room or an activity? These may seem so menial, but they are in fact at the heart of God’s message to us.

You see, I believe that in God’s grand design, he created us with amazing traits, talents and abilities to help us experience joy in this life. When I talk about Sacred Gifts, I’m not necessarily talking about mere physical talent. For example, someone could be an extraordinary tennis player or gymnast. But, if that doesn’t bring that individual joy, I have a hard time naming it as a Sacred Gift.

It may have been an interest that a parent or friend fostered in the life of that individual; but, a Sacred Gift is something that is given to us with the intent of bringing us joy. If we don’t know what those are, we need to start exploring them.

Begin with a list...what are the talents, traits and abilities that bring you joy? Remember, it's not about being "great" at something, it's about identifying the things that naturally bring us joy.

Among this list, ask yourself: what are the experiences, places and people that help you best honor these Sacred Gifts?

Today, choose to honor your Sacred Gifts in some small way. If I have the gift of compassion, choose to cuddle with your children or spouse tonight. If you have the gift of hospitality, prepare the space in which you sleep with something beautiful and inspiring.

How you define your Sacred Gifts is up to you. But, begin to define them - your life is waiting!

Until next time, we take a sacred pause...

The Pace of our Words!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

We hear so much about the pace of our lives: the incredible need to slow down and enjoy the grace around us.

It may seem as though slowing down is a romantic idea, only realized in an oceanfront villa amidst sun and surf. But, the ability we have to slow ourselves down is very tangible here and now, amidst the snow and cold (and least as it is here, in Upstate New York!)

Thich Nhat Hahn said once, that what we do with the pace of our lives is “print sorrow and anxiety on the earth.” What a profound thought. How I walk through my life says a lot about the affect I have on the situations around me.

In so many aspects of our lives, we can make choices for slower movement (the kind of movement that allows you to truly see and hear what is happening around you: perhaps the door that you have been waiting for, or the message that inspires you to take another step forward.) But, as we run…it becomes challenging to notice these gifts of God.

But, what happens when the responsibilities of my life require me to move briskly? What if the reality of where I am in my life, summons me to move about quickly to attend to the very real needs of my day?

In these moments, I can focus my attention on the pace of my words. We have become so comfortable with our words, saying things, I think, without even giving it a second thought. We talk so quickly, our e-mails are coded to be quickly deciphered, and our advice to ourselves or others is quickly dispersed, so that we can get onto the next moment.

But, slow down!

Think for a minute about what your words say about you, the life you live and what you believe to be of value in the world. Ask yourself: Do my words represent me well? Does my tone create an underscore of peace and gentleness in my life? Do I react to situations in my life so quickly that my words take on a life outside of “who I am”?

I try to teach my children that their words have value, both in what the say and how they say it. In just a moment when words are spoken sincerely and peacefully, a person can be transformed. It’s a powerful tool in our lives that I think we so often overlook.

So speak, peacefully, generously, joyfully, and sincerely! Your words have important work to do today; Enjoy!

Until next time, we take a sacred pause…

Choosing Peace!

{image from Ms Ladyred's flickr site}

There is so much anxiety in the world today! I just returned from sharing with a group of women, who gather monthly at a local retreat house. Our discussion surrounded how much anxiety fills the air around us these days.

A friend of mine once expressed to me her great worries. She had prepared for so many possibilities, but still worried about all the other things that might happen. She worried about her children, her spouse, her job, and the list went on and on. In many ways, her anxiety paralyzed her.

I told her this story…

When my husband and I were first married, we had season tickets to a local AHL hockey team. I used to be very nervous driving into these games, because of the ever-changing winter weather in Central New York.

Prior to games, I would try to gather information about the weather and plan the safest route, time to leave, etc. One night we went into a game and settled into our seats. My husband watched the players intently, wondering who might rise up as a big star that night. I, on the other hand, contemplated what kind of snack I might have that night (I think you can tell who drove our interest in hockey.)

Well, as the game progressed I suddenly noticed that there were a lot of people looking our way, and in the next second I felt the worst pain I had ever experienced (these of course were years prior to giving birth). The cause of this arena attention and intense pain: I had been hit in the jaw with a hockey puck. The medical team swooped in to care for my injury. My husband consistently apologized for not catching the puck!

The point…We can plan for every scenario in the world, and then – we get hit in the face with a hockey puck! Or, in other words, the thing we couldn’t ever imagine happens.

When we feel anxious, we have to starve our anxiousness with uplifting experiences. If you know that a certain person, situation or experience will promote your anxiety, then choose the opposite. Next, ask yourself this, “what is the reality of my anxiety?”

So often, what we feel anxious about is not a reality – it is a possibility. In these moments, we need to “Let Go and Let God!” An easier thing to say than do, I know. But, the more we practice this, the more we starve the unnecessary anxiousness that can line our paths, and prepare ourselves to choose peace!

Until next time, we take a sacred (peaceful) pause…