It’s been an overwhelming month – one of time spent in the service of others; one spent immersed in my family’s needs; one spent preparing others for the Christmas season. Do you sense a pattern here – somewhere, I lost myself.
It takes a lot of courage for me to admit that this, but it is the honesty of my nature that leads me to say it.
I think that all of us suffer from the holiday “fall-out.” We plan and plan and plan, make lists, anticipate the reactions of family members to gifts we have carefully chosen, create holiday moments for our families, and we make meals – many, many, many meals!
Of course our joy is always wrapped up in what we can offer others. But, at times, we do need to step back, which is what I did today. I took a moment and cried. I cried for the exhaustion I felt; I cried for the imperfection that surrounded my efforts to serve others perfectly, and I cried to cleanse myself of all the responsibility that had built up upon my shoulders.
It’s hard when you love your friends and family so much! It’s the intensity of the love that makes us feel SO MUCH, in relationship to everything that involves them. It’s not all bad to love people that much! It just takes a bit of managing to keep it all together when our plates are so full.
So, we take deep breaths! We remember, as I do daily, of special blessings that have come in the form of anonymous gifts in the mail, beautifully wrapped packages left on my doorstep and a family who, despite all our imperfections, is destined to do God’s work in this life!
When we feel the weight of our lives, it is helpful to take a moment and honor our feelings. I remember a beautiful sister of St. Joseph once saying to me that when she felt down, she played Cello music. I remember thinking. “Cello music? How could you listen to something so depressing when you feel so down?” What she taught was that by honoring our feelings, instead of hiding them, we allow ourselves to move through them (rather than covering them up!)
Perhaps this is my effort to move through them. I think this blog may have been more for my own good than anyone else’s, but I hope that there is something in the message that supports all of you in your journeys of faith.
Until next time, we take a sacred pause…
It takes a lot of courage for me to admit that this, but it is the honesty of my nature that leads me to say it.
I think that all of us suffer from the holiday “fall-out.” We plan and plan and plan, make lists, anticipate the reactions of family members to gifts we have carefully chosen, create holiday moments for our families, and we make meals – many, many, many meals!
Of course our joy is always wrapped up in what we can offer others. But, at times, we do need to step back, which is what I did today. I took a moment and cried. I cried for the exhaustion I felt; I cried for the imperfection that surrounded my efforts to serve others perfectly, and I cried to cleanse myself of all the responsibility that had built up upon my shoulders.
It’s hard when you love your friends and family so much! It’s the intensity of the love that makes us feel SO MUCH, in relationship to everything that involves them. It’s not all bad to love people that much! It just takes a bit of managing to keep it all together when our plates are so full.
So, we take deep breaths! We remember, as I do daily, of special blessings that have come in the form of anonymous gifts in the mail, beautifully wrapped packages left on my doorstep and a family who, despite all our imperfections, is destined to do God’s work in this life!
When we feel the weight of our lives, it is helpful to take a moment and honor our feelings. I remember a beautiful sister of St. Joseph once saying to me that when she felt down, she played Cello music. I remember thinking. “Cello music? How could you listen to something so depressing when you feel so down?” What she taught was that by honoring our feelings, instead of hiding them, we allow ourselves to move through them (rather than covering them up!)
Perhaps this is my effort to move through them. I think this blog may have been more for my own good than anyone else’s, but I hope that there is something in the message that supports all of you in your journeys of faith.
Until next time, we take a sacred pause…
