When I was 3, we traveled to Florida to visit my grandparents...
I recall the trip to a Target-like store, to choose a new bright red sand pail; I loved that pail! We packed our belongings and headed to the beach. As my parents watched, I played joyfully in the shallow water, filling and emptying my pail again and again, and again!
As the story goes...all of a sudden my dad saw a large wave rise up behind me, and in a moment - I was gone! My dad rushed to the water's edge and dove into the surf. As the water settled, there I stood...crying! My dad's heart was beating fast at the danger of that large wave on my three-year-old body; I was sobbing because I had lost my brand new pail.
Oh, to worry more about the pail than the water! In so many ways, this is the perfect metaphor for my current experience. At times I wish I could worry more about the hair loss, the nausea, the exhaustion...but, it is the cancer itself that feels like that giant wave approaching me, ready to carry me out to sea.
But, then there is God...not above or below the "water", but within it! So, as I feel at times as though that giant wave is coming, I know deep in my soul that God is in fact in that wave too. So, there is nothing to fear.
I don't think you need to have a serious illness to grapple with those fearful waves that creep up on us. They are the large life forces that knock us off our feet...sometimes it is our children, our finances, our jobs, our relationships, even our spirituality...there are so many experiences that can lead us to feel consumed by fear. But, we need to continually remind ourselves that God is within everything.
I know that doesn't eliminate our feelings of fear, but that knowledge can often helps us remember that we can stand up within the wave and be alright! Whenever I have a feeling of fear that creeps up, I try to remember the past times that I have felt fearful and how I "survived" it. Drawing on that past experience can give me strength in this current moment.
What is your "wave" today? Remember, that God is with you!
Until next time, we take a sacred pause...
